Life


Earlier this month I read a post in the Daily Dish, Andrew Sullivan’s blog at The Atlantic, about a megachurch pastor in Georgia, Jim Swilley, who decided to publicly come out of the closet. He felt compelled to do so after hearing too many stories about gay teens committing suicide after harassment by bullies.

“As a father, thinking about your 16-, 17-year-old killing themselves, I thought somebody needed to say something,” he told WSB TV in Atlanta. “I know all the hateful stuff that’s being written about me online, whatever. To think about saving a teenager, yeah, I’ll risk my reputation for that.”

risk reputation organization brand failure

click to view video on YouTube

This man is a hero. I can’t imagine the courage it must take for anyone to come out when those around them don’t approve of their lifestyle. A lifestyle, Swilley reminds us, that is not a choice. But imagine doing that when you’re the pastor of a conservative church and your career and livelihood is on the line.

It made me think about what I would risk to do the right thing. Would I be brave enough to risk my reputation and career? I won’t know until I’m in that position. I can only hope that I’m as strong as he is. I’m not assuming I will be although I think I have a strong metaphorical spine. I think about whistleblowers who don’t even know Sarbanes-Oxley protection exists, yet put their jobs on the line to do the right thing, as Jim Swilley did by blowing the whistle on irrational hatred.

How much would your organization put on the line to do the right thing? How many people (members or even board members) are you willing to piss off? How many opportunities do you miss to be a hero because you worry about the risk to your brand or about the risk of failure?

“As you sit down with your loved ones to celebrate Thanksgiving this year, what is one thing you’ll be especially thankful for?”

Only one thing? But there are so many things I’m thankful for. As I think about that I lean back into my chair and glance around the room. My eyes settle on the red, orange and yellow leaves of the trees outside the window. It’s so pretty this time of year. I’m thankful for that, no, I can only pick one thing, it’s not going to be the foliage.

The house is quiet, except for the cat purring on the couch in my office, next to a few books I’m in the midst of reading. The music plays softly on the radio. The dog is dreaming. Asleep on the rug between my desk and the couch, his paws are running in place.

I love having this room. It’s an extra room, formerly a bedroom, now my office. My books surround me. A TV’s on a dresser in case I get the urge for a cooking show. I can curl up on the couch with a cup of tea or coffee and read, or I can sit at my desk and write. The strong wireless signal connects me to news and information, but more importantly to friends and not-yet-friends, or, channeling Fritz Maytag here, friends in fermentation.

thankful gratitude thanksgiving

photo by flickr: lecates (Andrew)

I’m thankful for a room of my own. Virginia Woolf would be pleased. This room is my office, my study, my lounge, my yoga studio (if I’m practicing) and my sanctuary. It grounds me and brings me peace. It’s the symbol, or evidence, of the things in my life that I’m really thankful for – the reasons I’m able to have a room of my own.

  • My guy, the reason I’m here in North Carolina and the reason I glow
  • My wonderful life here in NC and the people who are part of it — my NC family and friends
  • My family’s love and support for whatever I do, however far away I am
  • My Georgetown education that started me on a path of learning and success and introduced me to lifelong friends
  • My career path and the dear friends and interesting experiences it gave me along the way
  • My last job and the savings it provided that helped me transition into this new freelance life
  • My online and real life communities who inspire me and make me laugh
  • My work that allows me to do what I love, teaches me something every day and pays the bills
  • My freedom to live the way I do, to have this room of my own. I know I am blessed.

I’m thankful for many other things, especially that I woke up this morning, happy to face another day. That’s the easiest one to take for granted.

I recently read about making a list each night of five things you’re thankful for. I wish I remembered where I read this – was it your blog or book? It’s an easy thing to do and I bet it’d help us have sweeter dreams too.

What are you thankful for today? Share some gratitude. Let’s make the world spin happily around.

“Every morning, when we wake up, we have twenty-four brand-new hours to live. What a precious gift! We have the capacity to live in a way that these twenty-four hours will bring peace, joy, and happiness to ourselves and others.”  ~Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life

Tomorrow I’m spending the morning at TEDx Raleigh, an independently organized TED event. TED’s annual conferences in California and Oxford UK are “riveting talks by remarkable people” with “ideas worth spreading.” TEDx Raleigh runs all day but I’m leaving at lunch to go camping at the beach – unfortunate timing but it’s no fun to set up camp in the dark.

Last spring I attended TEDxRTP. I was intellectually stimulated all day long and left with lots of ideas — some found their way into blog posts and presentations, some are still simmering away in my brain. It was a fantastic experience so I look forward to tomorrow.

I’m tempted to compare TEDx to a French 17th century salon but I bet TEDx is better. In Mme. de Rambouillet’s salon, you would be surrounded by other rich coddled sophisticates with perhaps a struggling handsome young poet thrown in for exotic appeal. At TEDx you hear from people outside your normal bubble about ideas and projects you might not normally read or think about. Diversity in thought and perspective is such a rich valuable experience, yet we don’t often have a chance to enjoy it up close and personal, except on Twitter of course.

I was looking through my notes from the TEDxRTP and found some that still tickle my brain.

Chartres by flickr:ahisgett

Tribes & organizations

The future is malleable. Think about what the future should look like and draw up a plan to make it a reality — a good board exercise.

Tribes can change our world. Find something worth changing and assemble your tribe.

Transformational organizations are those with high over-arching missions that promote and inspire selfless service. They have the methodology to give people what they want – transformation. Trappist monasteries, the Marines and Alcoholics Anonymous are examples of transformational organizations. Associations can be a vehicle for transformation, giving members the opportunity to grow, get passionate, learn and contribute.

The building of Europe’s great cathedrals required centuries of sustained civic and spiritual determination. Innovative engineering, architectural and construction techniques — like pointed arches, ribbed vaulting and flying buttresses (ah, memories of art history!) — were used. The cathedrals inspired civic pride and transmitted a legacy of spiritual knowledge. Except for the master architect, we don’t know the names of the men who helped build them, but we marvel at what they accomplished. At a time when famine and disease were rampant, these impoverished people committed to building something they would never see completed in their lifetime. In an attention-deficit I-want-it-now culture with an eye on the next quarterly report, are we still capable of achievements like that?

Personal growth

We should all have a personal board of directors that acts as a trusted support system, providing different perspectives and truthful feedback. It’s unfortunate that many real boards don’t offer that to their organizations.

Jot down your ideas all the time. Carry a notebook. Keep one by the bed on your desk and in your car. Pay attention to your ideas; write them all down, even the wacky ones. Creativity is like a muscle that needs exercising or it will atrophy. If you don’t capture your ideas, you’ll stop recognizing the good ones. I made a note to start mind-mapping, but I must confess that I haven’t yet.

Shift your fear of failure to fear of regret. That’s one to live by.

What’s appealing about many movies? They’re a story of someone’s transformation. We watch vicariously; we want the transformational experience.

Make a daily habit of being still; renewing yourself. I’ve written about meditation on my other blog. It amazes me how five minutes of being still and present can make a positive difference in my day.

flickr photo by IronRodArt - Royce Bair

Outside my bubble

Online games can be incubators of collaboration and leadership as players practice real life skills.

Do you know about the astronaut overview effect? I didn’t and it blew my mind. Apparently the Earth doesn’t look like the photos that are sent from space. When astronauts see the Earth from space, the experience has a huge lasting emotional effect, one that is studied by NASA and others. It’s not space euphoria, but a shift in perspective. The astronauts believe that if everyone had the opportunity to see Earth as they have — a whole planet — it would give us a more unified global perspective.

We also heard about Indian healthcare, real food, homelessness and relationships, missing fathers, benefit corporations and more.

Have you ever done the wave at a conference? We did. How about watching an improv performance or hearing a classically trained new music trio? We did. If TEDx comes to a town near you, take a day off and go.

Have you been to TED or a TEDx event? I’d love to hear about your experience.

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